Spencer How-To's

Man, I had so many plans for the good ol' blog this January. So many pictures to post, so many words of...ahem...wisdom to share, so much humor to include. Sadly, January is turning out to be pretty much just as crazy-making as December was, and I have had neither the mental capability nor the willpower to do any of the aforementioned things. Good thing I can always fall back on pictures of Spencer to fill the void.

As many of you know, Spencer is my first boy. And boy is he a BOY. So much energy. So much crazy. So much chair-moving and table-climbing and toilet-playing and faucet-turning-on-ing and dishwasher getting-in-ing and drink-spilling and shopping cart-climbing out of-ing, all paired with a general inability to sit still (unless he is sleeping) (and probably not really even then) that my head is constantly spinning and I am fairly certain that I am basically ignoring my other children entirely. (Wait...I DO have other children, right?)

Oh, this kid. He's taught me a thing or two.

And now, he wants to teach you. Since none of you are here to witness and experience what it is to live in a house with this little boy, he and I have decided to put together a tutorial. You know, just to help you understand some of the things that you're missing out on.

Prepare for learning, people.

Tutorial #1: How to Help Undecorate the Christmas Tree

step 1: climb really high on Daddy's ladder and scare the poo out of everyone.

Your work is done.

Tutorial #2: How to Help Make Dinner

step one: find some sort of batter to snack on and make a big mess.

step two: cry until Mommy gives you some broccoli and then 

chew it up and regurgitate it onto the chair you are standing on.

(I mean, why did she give you broccoli in the first place? That stuff's gross.)

step three: wander into the pantry and find some stale bread to eat out of the trash.

(Make sure you take your batter spoon with you.)

Tutorial #3: How to Take a Bath (Even When Mommy Won't Give You One)

step one: Wait until Mommy is in the shower. Then climb on into the tub

and turn the water on. (This step works best while wearing clothes.)

step two: Make sure you grab the dirty rag on the bathtub ledge and put it in 

your mouth a few times. The more Mommy yells, the funner the experience.

(And after all, that's what she gets for not giving you a bath in the first place.)

Tutorial #4: How to Reorganize the Pantry

step one: put on some sparkly boots

step two: feign innocence

step three: organize away!

Tutorial #5: How to Take a Great Picture

step one: Smile

step two: Lunge!

Tutorial #6: How to Relax After Church

step one: Remove pants and don high heels.

That is all.

Hope you all have learned some valuable lessons. I know I have. 

This kid schools me all dang day long.