Hug And Release

It started off as a normal enough evening, except for the part where I didn't make dinner. (You know, because there were leftovers in the fridge that needed to be eaten and also because I was super tired from my strenuous day of hanging out poolside with the kiddos and chatting with my best friend all afternoon.) Craig also had a church meeting, which is pretty rare these days, which meant that I was on my own to get the kids to bed.

Spencer was easy enough. A couple books, a quick session of teeth brushing, and a blanket to snuggle with is usually all he needs these days to fall asleep fast and hard. (Except that I discovered, about thirty minutes later, that he had his bedroom light on and was emptying out every single toy from his toy box.)

The girls did surprisingly well, delaying most of their typical bedtime stall tactics for the evening--thankfully, for all our tired sakes--no doubt due to their post-swimming and friend-having-over-ing exhaustion.

Really, the only hiccup was the Impossibly Long Hug by Savanna, a fairly common occurrence given her zest for (and insistence on) transferring every ounce of the love and affection that her little body can muster into a single, unending, vice-like hug from which even Houdini himself would have no means of escape.

Well, it started as a hiccup, anyway.

I hugged her back, long and hard, like I usually do, in the hopes for an eventual, inevitable release. (Which did not happen.) Then I tried to step back in an attempt to free myself. (No such luck.) Then I attempted to slowly pry her strong arms from around me. (Not happening.) By this time, the other girls were trying to get clearance from the tower to land their own hugs so they could go off to bed. (Mmm...nope.) Julia started complaining mildly that it was her turn for a hug, and that she hadn't hugged me at all yet tonight (conveniently forgetting, I suppose, that she had been laying completely on top of me during our nightly scripture reading just a few minutes before), but still Savanna would not relent. Enter Alexa, who, while trying to extricate me from the Jaws of Hug, whined, "She's not just YOUR mom, Savanna! You can't just have her all for yourSELF! You need to SHARE!"

I don't know that sweeter words have ever been spoken.

I'm not sure if it's because Daddy is usually the household favorite around here, or because of Julia's recent request to replace "Mommy" with "Mom" while addressing me in front of her friends, but this Long Hug coupled with a simultaneous claim on affection from two other of my children was just the thing that this tired, frazzled, most-days-I-don't-feel-like-I'm-doing-anything-right, "Mommy-I-mean-Mom" needed.

So I tried to appease the masses. I stood the girls all around me. I rotated in a circle of daughterly love. And I hugged them all in turn.

"Hug and Release. Hug and Release. Hug and Release." Two times around. Then three.

Savanna, of course, hugged me longer than she was supposed to on her turn, which scandalized her sisters yet again. But I just smiled, and felt loved, and enjoyed the moment with all my heart.

Pretty soon they will all call me "Mom." And they will all be embarrassed to hug me in front of other people. And they will all know so much that I, in comparison, will be rendered almost completely obsolete. But I hope, with everything in me, that I will always remember this sweet, funny night when they all needed a hug from me at the exact same moment.

And maybe, just maybe, away from the prying eyes of friends or strangers, we can still do Hug and Release sometimes, even when they are fully grown and surrounded by beautiful, demanding, affection-starved daughters of their own.

Frousins

Five years ago, these baby cousins looked like this:

 And now they look like this:

It's taken them a few years to find their cousin groove, especially since we aren't able to get them all together that often, but these three kiddos play dreamily together these days, and it's wonderful. (As long as Alexa isn't too bossy. And Lincoln isn't too demanding. And Dryden isn't too tired.)

Looking forward to lots more years of these three being best frousins.

You. Are. My. Biggest. Fan.

This is Fantasia.

She is my oldest niece, but more accurately, she is my {pretend} oldest child.

See, when I was a mere 18 years old, I left the comforts and craziness of my family home in California and took the long trek to Utah to live with my sister, Cyndie, and her {then} only child, Fantasia, who was just shy of 3 years old. The arrangement was that I would watch Fan while my sister worked, hence four-year-old Fantasia's description of our situation: "I have two mommies. One that works, and one that takes care of me." I was blessed and privileged, for a small time at least, to be one of the souls on the planet who got to live with and care for this amazing, genuine, brilliant, mature-beyond-her-years, engaging, beautiful, remarkable child.

In the scheme of things, it was quite a short time that I actually got to play that role. Less than 3 years, in fact. I stayed with them through the potty-training and pre-school years and left on my mission before Fan even reached kindergarten. But that time was so significant for me, so etched in my mind and burned on my heart, that it feels like so much longer than that. Not many people get to have a dress rehearsal for being a mom. And though I cringe at the ridiculous number of missteps I made during  that practice round, (in which my lazy, overwhelmed, missing-my-boyfriend teenage self wouldn't let Fantasia wake me up in the morning until there were 4 numbers on the clock), I am glad with my whole soul that I got to experience it with this sweet, forgiving, dynamic girl. That I got to grow with, and learn from, a child whose knowledge and wisdom easily surpassed my own.

Fan is now 19, and she is getting married in two short weeks. She continues to be the amazing, genuine, brilliant, mature-beyond-her-years, engaging, beautiful, remarkable girl that she always was. I am so very proud of her for the choices she has made, the relationships she has forged, and the way that she has continually chosen to live her life with love, confidence, and faith. I am so humbled and happy to have had a {tiny, itty-bitty} hand in raising her, and happy beyond words that, from a distance anyway, I still get to be a part of her life and watch her continue to glow and to grow.

Every time I see the way that she lights up a room with her smile and her spirit, my heart bursts with thanks for the gift of being her second mommy so many years ago.

{Yep, she's pretty much perfect.}

'Cause seriously, who wouldn't want to be this girl's fake mom??

End of the Year Scenes

Well folks, I can't believe I'm saying it. but today is officially the last day of school. Next school year I will have a 5th grader, a third grader, and a kindergartner. I know I should probably be celebrating, right? But I will miss my little Lexa desperately next year. (And also having a kid in 5th grade means that I'm kind of old.)

Here are some of the latest and greatest end of the year moments. 

{The plan was to post a picture of the first day of school here, along with the last, 

but it turns out I don't have one. We'll just chalk that one up to Mommy exhaustion.}

{I bet they're glad they won't have to do this again for a while!}

{Julia was accepted into the National Elementary School Honor Society (remember her 

killer essay?) and also won Student of the Month Award for her class this month. So proud

 of her. Even if she did steal my phone during the awards assembly so she could play solitaire.}

{Savanna's teacher, Ms. Wolf, gave all her students special awards 

at at an end of the year party highlighting their strengths. Savanna 

won the "Biggest Heart" award. I love my little sweetie so much.

Wish us luck and many quiet, entertained, clean hours of fun this summer! 

The Last Two-Year-Old

Would you just look at this handsome boy?

     Spencer at five days  //  Spencer at two years

 My littlest Babykins (a.k.a Spence, a.k.a. the Spencernator, a.k.a. The Destructicon) is growing up. At unapproved speeds. Looking at this picture of tiny, helpless, five-day-old Spencer makes it almost ridiculous to think about what a giant, independent, active toddler he has become. He turned 2 last month, which means that all signs of babyness will have pretty much vanished completely in less than a year. (Or does your youngest child seem like a baby forever no matter how large and ornery they become? 'Cause I could totally see that happening, too.)

Spencer is a whirlwind of excitement, adventure, high fives, tantrums, and the occasional snuggle.

At two, Spencer:

Has great manners. Says please, thank you, and you're welcome spontaneously.

Lives for the movie Cars. Never (since my oldest niece's obsession with the Sneetches) have I seen such stalwart dedication to a specific movie. If something besides Cars happens to be on the television, he cries until it is remedied. Thankfully, we have recently discovered that he also likes Planes (which he still calls Cars), so instead of the entire family being subject  to only Cars and Cars 2, we can also watch Cars 3 and Cars 4 (or, Planes and Planes 2, respectively.)

Loves Loves Loves his blankie. (I've learned not to leave the house without it. It's better for everyone.) Let's just say, in his nursery class at church, they call him "Linus."

Calls all of his sisters "Ju-ya" (Julia). He's kinda lazy like that.

Uses silverware like a pro. (Unless he's eating ice cream. Then he only uses his hands.)

Throws tantrums like a pro. (Unless he's eating ice cream.)

Loves Loves Loves his daddy. Oh, my. If he could, he would be Craig's shadow all day, every day. (No pressure, Craig, but you should probably be the best possible example you can be to that little boy of yours. Because he is watching. Your. Every. Move.)

Laughs maniacally at the prospect of candy or ice cream.

Is learning to swim (but refuses to float).

Loves naps (as long as his blankie is involved) but has been known to climb out of his crib and fall asleep with toys or books in the chair in his room at bedtime.

Gives hugs and kisses freely. Especially when he is distracted by Cars 1-4 or when he knows you're about to give him candy or ice cream.

Is the funnest, cutest, politest, most tiring, adventurous, adorable boy a mommy could ask for.

{And he's mine, all mine.}  {Hence my perpetual exhaustion.}