Some Things to Consider While Traveling with Children

We are back from our wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and the experience has made me think about just a few things. Last time we traveled with two children by airplane, one was still nursing and would fall asleep in public, and I wasn't 7 months pregnant. Take away nursing baby and add in a sizeable pregnant belly, and things change just a bit. Anyway, here are some things I've learned.

*Magazines for me to read on the plane: laughable. I should have used that space for snacks.

*Apparently a 3 1/2 hour flight does not warrant snacks provided by the airline. (Though, if you're lucky, you might get a whole soda.)

*If you are pregnant, it doesn't matter how many times you use the bathroom before boarding the aircraft. You will still have to pee at least twice on the airplane.

*It doesn't matter which kid you bring an extra change of clothes for; the other one will end up needing it.

*Bring as many coloring books as you see fit, but your two-year-old will probably be more interested in buckling/unbuckling her seat belt for the duration of the flight.

*Airline security: designed to embarrass and infuriate those traveling with small children.

*Barf bags: perfectly designed to hold 1 pair of pee-pee pants, size 5T...and none of the moisture leaks through.

*The "recline" position of an airplane seat: an unfunny joke, both for the person trying to recline, and for the person sitting behind the person trying to recline.

*Somehow the contents of your carry-on items will multiply exponentially during flight, making it impossible to fit everything back in the way it was.

*If you take long enough to get to baggage claim, all of your items will be stowed nicely in a pile waiting for you to come claim them...no waiting involved.

*In an airport, the words "no running" to a 2- and 4-year-old actually translate into "please run as fast as you can, and also make sure that you don't watch where you're going so that you come as close as possible to crashing into someone."

*Personal space: non-existent in flight.

Okay, I'm sure there's more, but this is all I can think of for now. Even after reviewing the list with its accompanying feelings of stress and panic, though, I still have to say that the opportunity for our kids have two Thanksgivings with 2 grandparents, 4 great-grandparents, 3 great-aunts, 5 great-uncles and 2 second cousins, was surprisingly worth the effort...we just won't do it again for a while.

What they do when (they think) I'm not looking

Of course, this is only what happens when they think I'm not looking. When I'm actually not looking, it's much, much worse.

Oh, yeah...

Sorry, everyone, in my mad dash towards Thanksgiving and Christmas, I sorta forgot about Halloween. Well, here's the proof that we celebrated. Heck, we even took our kids trick or treating for the first time. Sadly, now, all of the good candy is gone, and all that is left are the memories...and dum dums.

At Craig's work party with the GCU "Cantaloupe."

Not a great pic, but apparently one of the only ones documenting the trick or treating act.

One cheerleader, minus the pom poms

that I carried in my purse all night.

Mom-o-lantern

Getting geared up for the ward party.

Cotton candy for the serious connoisseur.

Savanna plus one bar of chocolate equals pure delight.

From the Monson Family Test Kitchen

Savanna’s Recipe for Disaster*

2 tsp. vanilla
3 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. ground mustard
1-.8 oz. container of ground ginger
1-4 oz. container of cinnamon
1 oz. bubble solution
6 T. Knorr chicken bouillon granules
4 T paprika
8 T parsley flakes
87 toothpicks
sprinkles

Directions: Go downstairs for an orange. Get distracted, skip the orange idea and decide to climb onto the countertop; then start pulling everything out of the closest cupboard. Spill bubble solution onto the countertop and then climb across the stove to the spice cupboard. On the way, knock down the frying pan from the stove onto the floor and dent it. Empty the spice cupboard. Pour all ingredients into a teapot; top with sprinkles. Wait for mommy to find you. For best results, spill paprika all over your pants, take them off, and then poop in your diaper while sitting on the counter. Serves 12.

*measurements are approximate.

the ingredients you will need

the process

this is what the finished product should look like

Laughing Out Loud

Okay, so most of you guys know that I at least try to use this blog for a little bit more than just stories about and/or pictures of my kids...you know, like letters to the neighbor's dog and stuff. Anyway, that being said, today is going to have to be a kid day. Because not only are my children adorable and practically perfect, (*wink wink*) they are also hilarious. Allow me to demonstrate.

On Monday, we made an impromptu visit to Daddy's work after J's flu mist only doctor's visit turned into a well-visit with 3 unplanned and very tortuous shots. (Yes, all of our talk about a simple spray up the nose and No Shots went straight out the window.) Since my sweet honey is just about as perfect and adorable as the girls, he left work for a few minutes so we could take the girls to a park and allow J to be comforted appropriately. Sadly, after good times at the park, we had to take him back to work. (My persuasions for him to leave work early went unheeded; Craig kindly reminded me that it was only 11 a.m. Whatever.) So as I was pulling away from the curb and we were waving goodbye, Savanna was a little appalled.

S: "Where's Daddy going?"

Me: "He's going back to work, sweetheart."

S: "Why?"

Me: "He has a job, honey."

S: "Why?"

Me: "He has to work."

S: "Oh! To buy me presents?!"

Only two years old, and she already knows the real reason that the men in our lives have jobs.

Fast forward about 20 minutes and we are almost home. As we pull up to the stoplight at Southern, a big truck hauling cows stops right next to us. I told the girls to look out the window at the cows and they are, of course, delighted. (The windows were up, so thankfully, no unexpected smells were wafting in.) Julia starts counting...

"One, two, three cows...and a Honkey!"

Hmmm. Well, the driver of the truck was a white guy. I know what you're thinking...closet racist, right? That might be true, but she actually just had a brain lapse and forgot the word donkey.

I laughed all the way home.