Christmas Blessings

Christmas 2015.

It came, but did not conquer. 

It did not deplete, overwhelm, or otherwise defeat me this year. And that is saying quite a lot, my friends. 

I won't lie...our does house look a little bit like Christmas threw up in every single room, and I have yet to find a home for the many new objects that were hastily unwrapped and enjoyed throughout the day by eight people yesterday. Yet, miraculously, the feeling in my heart today is not one of being let down or disappointed with the overall circus that sometimes comprises this most special of holidays, as it too often is; it is one of true peace. 

True peace and amazement at the priceless gift of the tiny, innocent Christ-child on that first Christmas night. True reverence for my Savior--the perfect man that that child grew up to be--and for what He has done for me, over and over and over in my very imperfect life. For offering comfort. Help. Support. Validation. Wisdom. Peace. Inspiration. Mercy. Love. For helping me find faith when I had none. Helping me recognize blessings when I saw none. Helping me to work, and smile, and trudge on in the face of challenges and adversity so overwhelming as to almost overcome me completely.

These last two months have been some of the most difficult ones I have faced. As Christmas neared this year, I had a real fear that I would not actually be able to enjoy it. That the holidays would come and go, leaving me with a distinct sense of dissatisfaction and disappointment. But through the Lord's tender mercies, I found that just the opposite was true. Rather than feeling dejected, I feel refreshed, overjoyed, humbled. I feel whole in a way that I haven't for quite some time. And I know why.

It is because my biggest, most special, most important gift this year has been to come to truly know Him. To know my Savior and Redeemer in a way that days and weeks and months of relative ease cannot properly provide. To invite Him into my heart that in a way that only the most heart-wrenching, desperate, tear-spilled prayers can accomplish. To feel a comfort that I have never quite felt, because I have never needed it, or pleaded for it, quite as much as I have lately. To feel an unconditional love and acceptance from Him that is so exquisite, so sweet, that it is beyond my powers to fully describe.  

This Christmas was a gift. The perfect gift. From the perfect man, born as a perfect infant on a still, bright, perfect night thousands of years ago.

What a blessing to know that with my whole soul. And to know Him with every corner of my sometimes troubled, often tired, but always rejoicing heart.