When we first moved to Arizona, J was not yet two, and school was still an unimaginable hurdle not yet looming on my personal horizon of doom. When she turned three, I still never thought that she would ever be old enough to go. I had friends with kids in school, of course, but those kids were, well…old, and mine was still near to baby-hood. The next year she was four, and the countdown had begun until I was forced to throw her to wolves—a.k.a., Kindergarten and all of its inherent evils. But, hey, I still had a whole year, which would surely never actually arrive, so why worry?
Well, somehow, in the last days and weeks and months of our little lives, time has indeed raced ahead at unauthorized speeds, and the moment for school has officially arrived. Anticipated, yet uninvited, expected, yet unwanted, the first day of school has stormed into our lives and planted itself firmly on the calendars of our hearts.
So even though everyone else’s children seem so old when they start school, why, oh why does my daughter, who is the same age, still seem so little?
Because, in my heart of hearts, I still wish she was.
Part of me is excited about the doors and opportunities opening for her, and for all of us, for that matter. But another (bigger) part of me is mourning at the door that has just closed, the one with all of the babyhood and shenanigans and long days together inside. And I might grieve for a while, but I know that time will softly and necessarily alleviate some of that sadness. One day I will come to embrace the Change, just like every other time in my life when I thought I didn’t want anything to ever be different but then I found out I did.
So here is to change, and growing, and learning new things.
Some pics of the big day.
Before:
After:
Free at last, we went out on a family date to celebrate.
There's nothing like a mint & chip ice cream cone to make you go from this...
to bliss.
I have to say that I wasn't even a little bit sad to see Adam got to school. This year, I'm not sad either to have Makayla start school as well! I just wish there was an all day Kindergarten at our school! :) Cute pictures! :)
ReplyDeleteLooks like she made it and got Scooptacular to boot. I think the worst part is knowing that when they start school that becomes their life and your life for the next 15 or more years. Vacations have to be planned around school holidays, sickness spreads (like the strep through one class last year - x and t fell victim to it), and the dredded homework begins. I have a feeling that when the "baby" of the family (you know the very last child) goes to kindergarten that it will be much more emotional for me at least since there won't be anyone else at home to take up my time.
ReplyDeleteI'm choked up right now thinking about how I felt when #1 left for kindergarten and how I am putting off feeling when #2 starts next week. It is so hard to end the precious, protected years of pre-school life. But you are right, soon your heart will stop breaking and this stage will become natural. Julia looks lovely in her uniform and flower clip.
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