Acceptance Speech

In honor of the Oscars, and in light of the recent and amazing changes in my life, I feel compelled to share with you the acceptance speech that I recently wrote. Even though I haven't won an award, (though it is a privilege just to be nominated) I would like to give a quick shout-out to all of the wonderful lifesavers that have blessed my life and kept me sane during the last five weeks.

Thank you Carl's Jr. for your buy one get one free Western Bacon Cheeseburger deal. Onion rings, bacon, and barbecue sauce truly are a nursing mother's dream.

Thank you, baby swing, for lulling my child to sleep and allowing me to fix dinner (when I have the energy to do so.)

Thank you Sonic, for your delicious Cherry Limeades, especially during the half-price hours of 2-4 pm. As a thirsty mom on the go, I couldn't do it without you.

Thank you, 2010 Winter Olympics, for providing me with incredible entertainment during countless hours of being trapped on the couch, nursing and pumping. I could always find you when I needed you most.

Thank you, clogged milk ducts, for going away. That was the best present ever.

Thank you, friends and family, for loving me even when I became a temporary hermit that lived in sweats, rarely answered the door, and habitually ignored the ringing phone. I'm glad that you are still there for me.

Thank you, pacifier, for granting me an extra ten minutes of sleep in the middle of the night when I just can't force my eyes open.

Thank you, fancy breast pump, for being so quiet and efficient...you are the best.

Thank you, elastic pants...you know who you are.

And most importantly, thank you, husband and daughters, for all of your love and encouragement, for loving me when I am grouchy and for not saying anything about the dark circles under my eyes. With your help I can almost forget how tired I am.

To everyone else I forgot, thank you, thank you, thank you. You have all helped me although I can't remember who you are or what you've done...but I am sure it was something important and great.

Thanks.